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       MSZ - Textbook English
       

HORSE-CHARLY AND LADY DI

"A h o r s e, m y k i n g d o m n e e d s a h o r s e!" exclaimed the good Queen Bessie the second and her husband-daddy Long-Tall-Phil from Germany succeeded in making her pregnant with young Charly and later on came Little-Annie. Now this story is already history. "A y, e v e r y i n c h a k i n g!" said the British, when they watched young Horse-Charly roaming around the courts and polo-fields of Europe. "E n g l a n d e x p e c t s e v e r y m a n t o d o h i s d u t y!" his father had told him, and the girls, when they saw him, smiled and thought by themselves: "G o d m a d e h i m, a n d t h e r e f o r e l e t h i m p a s s f o r a m a n." Bro- ken hearts on his tracks - the e y e s o f t h e w o r l d were u p o n h i m - he always asked himself: "T o marry, o r n o t t o marry, t h a t i s t h e q u e s t i o n." W i t h a n a u s p i c i o u s a n d a d r o p p i n g e y e he followed the daughters of the high and mighty, filled w i t h t h e m i l k o f h u m a n k i n d n e s s. At the same time, his sister Princess Anne spent her days on hor- seback. "C o m e, w h a t c o m e m a y", she thought, and when she fell of her horse she only said: "H e r e I l a y, a n d t h i s I b o r e m y p o i n t." A good-looking Squire, the Mark of Philips, saw her once with her favorite horse. Being no f o o l o f f o r t u n e he didn't bother with the problem, that i t was t h e l a r k a n d n o t t h e n i g h t i n g a l e and proposed to her. "E v e r y m a n h a s h i s p r i c e", remembered Annie, bought him a new horse and together they breeded from thereon fillies for the noble Royal Family. In the meantime, Horse-Charly, never p a l e d b y t h e c a s t o f t h o u g h t, got orders from his mother to care for the United Kingdom. "M o r e m a t t e r w i t h l e s s a r t!" was the advice, Queen Bessie was giving him. Deep in his heart, Horse-Charly had already made up his mind, but, as t h e b e t t e r p a r t o f v a l o u r i s d i s c r e t i o n, he didn't tell anyone about it. But y o u c a n f o o l a l l t h e p e o p l e only s o m e o f t h e t i m e! C o m i n g e v e n t s c a s t t h e i r s h a d o w b e f o r e and after a w i n t e r of general d i s- c o n t e n t he announced his engagement with a certain Lady Di. "Who's she?" the public kept on asking. So Horse-Charly took her out one night, and only men stroken with blindness could avoid to notice what a really great heart she called her own. "O h, t h a t t h i s t o o s o l i d f l e s h w o u l d m e l t!" was Charly's problem, whenever he was with her, and: "I w o u l d i t w e r e b e d t i m e!" A Royal wedding was announced and the British people cheered: "'T i s a c o n s u m m a t i o n d e v o u t l y t o b e w i s h e d!" Only a few stubborn republicans stood frustrated in the corner and cursed bitterly this v a n i t i y f a i r: "W o e t o t h e l a n d t h a t' s g o u v e r n e d by a noble horsy!" But as r e a s o n s are by far n o t a s p l e n t y a s b l a c k b e r r i e s and k n o w l e d g e has nothing to do with p o w e r, everybody in Britain and people all over the world watched the celebration on tv. Thus, in June 1981, for one day a l l t h e w o r l d' s a s t a g e and t h o u g h t h i s b e m a d n e s s, y e t t h e r e i s m e t h o d i n' t. (MSZ-Textbook. Contributions by William Shakespeare, Francis Ba- con, William Thackeray and Thomas Campbell are printed in ita- lics.) zurück